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NotValco
Who is NotValco? A dimwitted, slightly off, and possibly mentally impaired knight who wields the mighty hammer Mjolner. He often hangs out with Roflgator (Rob) and his crew. He calls himself a holy crusader but acts like someone who is afraid of his own shadow. He has a trigger world which causes him to hit whoever is nearest with his hammer. It's "tomato". Having gone missing there are reports of him apparently having passed away due to unknown reasons. Outside of his Valco persona he's been playing as other characters, one superhero of sorts called The Fister in Downtown Bricktown. He would return again as "Future Valco" on Feb 13th, 2019 not as speech impaired as before. Lore Biography/History Roflgator met NotValco at a public Suburban House where Valco was hosting a house party. Finding Valco to be both entertaining and a challenging person to wingman, Rob decided to take him and a goth girl named Shybrid back to the Great Pug in order to try and hook them up. Spoiler: it didn't work out, mostly due to the fact Valco suddenly discovered they were actually cousins (gross). Despite this, Valco decided to to stick around, hanging out with Rob and the regulars of the Great Pug. Later, Buza would (try to) hire Valco to work as a greeter and bartender at the Winchester Tavern when Buza was fired by Rob during the Mafia Wars (Season 1 of the 'Legends of Roflgator'). Later, when worshipers of Blue Man were afflicted by random curses, his virgin blood was smeared on them and somehow worked as a cure. On June 6th, 2018, he aided in ending the curse of Blue Man and had a hand in Arcadum's death and revival. Please see the article for Blue Man for more information. On June 12th, Valco claimed to have, somehow at sometime, slept with Shrimp. Both sounding dumbfounded about it, Valco said it lasted only a few seconds while Shrimp didn't remember any details at all. If Valco's claim is true, this would mean he had lost his virginity and no longer had pure blood. Valco joined Vintendo's Polygon Police Department (PPD) on June 13th. Later in June, Shrimp and Valco would begin dating. Valco would later reveal that he's the "last knight" from the Crusades and that the Vatican "hurts people". When asked who exactly would hurt him, he simply said "the Pope". Tenure as Vice President & rise to power During the 2018 Summer Elections, candidate GabouLit of Team 6 would announce Valco as his running mate. Gabou would go on to win the election, making Valco the Vice President of VRChat, replacing Shrimp. However, Valco's tenure as VP of VRChat would be short lived due to his running mate Gabou dying in-office, making Valco the new President of VRChat, with his inauguration taking place on July 6th in the Lair of Roflgator. Valco's tenure as president would be short lived, however. Within days of Valco's inauguration, Shrimp would reveal that Valco "gave" the presidency to him, becoming a contentious topic of debate over whether that's even a thing or not. The group would seem to reluctantly accept Shrimp as the new president. Valco is homeless and currently sleeps in the same dumpster with Crake. Valco's Church A good friend to Rob, the gator bot would oblige his crusader friend and allow Valco to build his own church at The Golden Gator (Island). He held a couple of strange sermons. Robot Valco A robot looking and acting like Valco would suddenly appear on Aug 9th with Valco missing prompting Roflgator to suspect he was murdered. Robot Valco shared his memories but acting much more murderious and even killed off some intruding lolis to The Golden Gator (Island). A robot version of Jor Rilla also appeared. Rob accused a new patron, the Bike Helmet Guy of being the murderer. Later an impostor and fake WiFiPunk dressed as Rob admitted to being behind the strange occurrences and was neutralized. The real Valco would later reappear seemingly fine without any explanation to offer. What the fake WiFiPunk really did remained a mystery. Future Valco A strange incarnation of Valco - seemingly part robot. This incarnation appears to speak much more fluent English, compared to the old Valco. He shortly visited The Golden Gator on Feb 13, 2019 only to disappear again. Later another futuristic looking type fellow (portrayed by Foreigner) came looking for him. The individual claimed to be a time-traveler from the future and shared a lot of secrets of what-is-to-come to Roflgator. ) looking for Valco...]] The futuristic looking fellow kept inquiring at the bar regarding Valco's whereabouts but was never able to find him. The following days he would re-visit but never managed to catch Valco. On Mar 24th, 2019 he participated in a Beauty Pageant hosted by Roflgator competing against Zombie Girl, Kyana, UzuriMia, Jogie, Emily and Sorry among others. He ended up loosing to Zombie Girl who was titled Miss VRChat. Worlds clashed together as "Future Valco" together with "Present Valco" both attempted to arrest Java on 21st of April, 2019. Out-of-character how he pulled it off using voice chat, multiple people on the same account, and both using VR headsets - is still a matter of debate. Twitch Clip - Two Valcos... past and future Valco arrest Java ]] He met another heavily armored person by the name of Roache on May 8th, 2019, a very self-glorified person carrying an aura of importance with him but who doesn't subscribe to the title of "knight". In the confusion of meeting him, he would consider him to be his possible parent but their heritage was short lived as Valco would proclaim not to like his "fake dad". Twitch Highlight - Valco meets "fake dad" Roache Alternate roleplaying characters Bolomeister Bolomeister is a diplomat and politician representing the country Bolomite or 'Bolo' for short. He makes strangle bubbling sounds when speaking. He was invited to Roflgator's bar The Golden Gator (Island) on Aug 22nd after he declared it as his own country and intended to form a kind of 'united nations' with other neighboring countries. During the diplomatic talks he was invited along with France claiming to represent the country 'France', Hoot'n Holler representing 'Texas' and Dmitri Kotiri representing the country Kandak. The Fister 'The Fister' or 'Fistman' is the resident super hero attempting to keep the streets of Bricktown safe. He has his work cut out for him and often stumbles in performing his job. He claims that he has a sidekick called Lifeboy. "I will serve justice with my fist!" - Fistman His super hero shirt logo features a blue fist and is often mistaken for being a member of the Bro Army, i.e. a PewDiePie fan. When asked about it he denies this. He would be away for a time and return with an upgraded arm on Oct 3rd, 2018. When he met Rob he explained that he had been in prison and released on good behavior. In his eyes he wasn't actually guilty of any crime and exclaimed that going to prison wasn't anything bad compared to other horrendous crimes such as 'jaywalking'. Jim Cheetum Jim Cheetum is a "businessman" and investor. On Oct 23rd, 2018 the little guy created a kind of office in Roflgators bar without his permission. There he tried to sell legal advice and offer insurance deals. Frank Hammer As of June 18th, 2019 Frank Hammer is the new addition to the Bricktown Police department. He assisted in multiple arrests together with Bearly using the very efficient new tool - the "stun baton". He carries a fake mustache with him at all times which he refers to as a "finger stasch". Although very peculiar he assures that you don't need to worry about that. He was introduced as a new character in Roflgator Season 6. Trivia * With knowledge from Arcadum, Roflgator enchanted Valco's hammer with a special substance/metal that insta-kills demons. ** Valco once hit Crake on the head with the enchanted hammer, causing Crake to malfunction and glitch out, acting and sounding strangely and out-of-character. * Roflgator has only been able to get Valco to break character during RP once, during a particularly hilarious moment regarding dating preferences. * Valco once fell down the stairs and accidentally stabbed a comrade with a sword during crusader training, which may explain why he uses blunt weapons instead. * The Fister is not as innocent as his Knight persona. He once "assisted" Ectreloot... and lived up to his name. * The less speech impaired "Future Valco" was actually the result of him using a better microphone and not intentional. * Valco works as a DJ IRL. *Rumor has it that there are homoerotic "rule 34" artwork made of him together with Gulliblez and Klaatu but you would need to search far and wide to find it. Links *Twitch: https://twitch.tv/valco Video Clips *Twitch Clip - Intellectual conversation with Shrimp *Twitch Clip - Another intellectual conversation with Shrimp *Twitch Clip - RP-card down Valco haha *Twitch Clip - The Fister uh "assists" Ectreloot *Twitch Clip - Portraying a strange creature Gallery Valco Gallery NotValco2.jpg|Wielding Mjolnir NotValco anime.jpg|"I'm anime now!" -Valco Vintendos Polygon PD 2.jpg|Anime boy Buza and NotValco taking a police course NotValco officer.jpg|Officer NotValco after joining the Polygon Police Department NotValco officer2.jpg|Officer NotValco after joining the Polygon Police Department Valco swimsuit haha.jpg|Valco's "swimsuit" President NotValco.jpg|Valco as President of VRChat Roflgator July 25th 5 Valco 'banging' a girl haha.jpg|Using Mjolner on Lawlipop Roflgator July 25th Valco Performing Brimcro.jpg|Rockstar Valco performing in his band Brimpco Roflgator July 29th 13 Suprise! Todd and Beefy Valco joins the battle.jpg|Beffy Valco fighting Todd in the Lair of Roflgator battle arena Roflgator July 29th 14 Todd and Beefy Valco.jpg|Beffy Valco fighting Todd in the Lair of Roflgator battle arena Rofl Dec 13th 5 Valco temp return.jpg|Valco with a halo. Is that you Valco? You're not dead? Screenshot by S0ra - Roflgator, Kibby, Valco and Jor VRChat 1920x1080 2018-12-14 02-35-52.857.png|Group photo with Roflgator, Valco, Jor and Kibby at The Greater Gator. Rofl Jan 8th 18 Club creature (Valco).jpg|Portraying a strange creature that stole Ikumis cat gidget. Rofl Jan 15th 6 EmberNiiSan and his bro Valco.jpg|With a fellow knight EmberNiiSan. Rofl Feb 13th 29 Future Valco.jpg|Future Valco turns up. Rofl April 21st 24 Two Valcos - Future and past Valco.jpg|Two Valcos? Future Valco meets present Valco... Rofl 2019 May 8th 50 Valco and Roache.jpg|Valco meets "Fake dad" Roache Rofl June 3rd 2019 13 Valco, HeGone,Jor and Shrimp.jpg|Valco, He Gone, Jor and Shrimp chatting during RP-card down Rofl June 9th 2019 22 Valco Necro Nights.jpg|Valco dressed appropriately during the opening of Necro Nights Rofl June 9th 2019 23 Necro Nights Shrimp, Jor, Valco.jpg|With Shrimp and Jor during Necro Nights opening. Alternate characters gallery Rofl Aug 22nd 25 AJ Valco Bullhameister and Dmitri.jpg|AJLiddell, Bolomeister and Dmitri Kotiri Rofl Aug 22nd 26 Valco Bullhameister, Shrimp and Dmitri.jpg|Bolomeister, Clone 27 and Dmitri Kotiri Rofl Aug 22nd 36 Bullhameister Dmitri and Shrimp.jpg|Bolomeister, Dmitri Kotiri and Clone 27 Roflgator Aug 31st a visitor from Bolo.jpg|A visitor from Bolo Rofl Aug 27th 22 Pokelawls and Bolomeister (NotValco).jpg|Bolomeister talking to Pokelawls Rofl Oct 31st 13 Jim Cheetum (Valco).jpg|Jim Cheetum opens an office selling insurance to Stefan Rofl Nov 2nd 18 Shrim and Jim Cheetum (Valco).jpg|Shrimp makes fun of Jim Cheetums stature Rofl Nov 2nd 22 S0ra and Jim Cheetum (Valco).jpg|Jim Cheetum and S0ra Rofl Nov 20th 21 Croco gang (Valco).jpg|Valco portraying one of the Sewer Crocs that reside in the sewers of Bricktown. Rofl Nov 20th 19 The Croco Gang (Astree, Valco, Jor).jpg|Members of the Sewer Croc Gang. Rofl Jan 7th Western RP 14 The old man with his horse (Valco).jpg|Portraying an old man during Western RP. Rofl May 13th 2019 7 Random char RP Thor (Valco).jpg|Portraying a "Thor" character Rofl May 28th 37 Valco Bully.jpg|Portraying a bully during Roflgator School RP Rofl May 28th 38 Valco and Jerry Pasture.jpg|Portraying a bully during Roflgator School RP together with Jerry Pasture Rofl June 5th 2019 13 Elimination dating Jor and Valco.jpg|Elimination dating game with Jor being the bachelor, Valco portrays a... snail. Rofl June 18th 2019 19 Frank Hammer (NotValco).jpg|Portraying Frank Hammer the new police officer of Bricktown. Rofl June 18th 2019 21 Frank Hammer (NotValco) and Bum (RitualCub).jpg|Frank Hammer and the incarcerated "bum" RitualCub Rofl June 18th 2019 23 Frank Hammer (NotValco)s pocket-stasch.jpg|Frank hammer flashes his "finger stasch" Category:People Category:Characters Category:Humans